great big plans

I've got 'em! ... so I'm going to start writing here because if I open a word doc my computer says "NO! we are all filled up! stop it!" so I'm going to get more harddrive at some point but not today and today I want to start writing which is tough because I also have an enormous bandage on my pointer finger.

The point is, last night this painting I did when I was so mad about things fell off my wall. It has been there for three months and it just fell off. A sign I think. It is time to let go of this thing and those feelings and find some new ones. so I'm going to hide it and find something else to put there. maybe some more boxes, I might do that tonight since today will be taken up by work and writing. I need a big ol' change and I asked friends for book suggestions, one of which is Homesick, a book about Israelis, which I'm going to read and in the suggestions it said something about Kurt Cobain and Itzhak Rabin dying in the same year (he was the prime minister of Israel and was assassinated). I'm going to go to the lib and find books on this guy and maybe some on Kurt, I already know a lot about Kurt because, well, I love him. And so that's what I'm going to do - find some connections, some threads that tie the two together, I really only need one thread and I can fabricate the rest and it's not even going to be a story about them, I"m not sure what it will be yet but something, something important.


I just can't help thinking about that woman who read my tarot cards and said Susan is my guardian angel and here is this book about Israel and here are these things that make sense to me and are inspiring me. and it all came out of this painting falling and this painting that is mad because she's gone and her son's gone and all these things. My walls are too white and I need more than this.

Last night I had these dreams that all these things that I want were real and true, like my subconscious is working on the law of attraction for me. Pretttyyyy cooool.


I love it. love love love it. Thanks winter.