Crutches

I am trying to rid myself of my crutches. especially since one has left for good anyway I figure it's a great sign to start in on the others. First step, identify crutches. Second step, ignore them like a boy you're crushing. Third step, forget about them until they beg you to take them back. Fourth step, instead of doing what you normally would ... finally giving in and allowing them back, walk in the other direction, don't look, I said don't look! And finally, feel better about yourself, realize the benefits you are reaping.


UGH I need to start writing some legit fiction, maybe if I let go of my hulu crutch that would happen. Instead I am producing this dribble. I am CRAVING an english paper right now, all I wanna do is hop up on my high horse with my thesis that I invented (probably not, nothing is really original) with my own support from the text (which I might have to manipulate with some elipses) and draw a brilliant conclusion about the moral standing of humanity and what 18th century british literature has to say about it (probably some bullshit that I came up with as I was drifting to sleep in the wee hours of morning).


I so badly want to learn. But what? I think I just want a liberal arts education all over again ... maybe. oh I don't know. Maybe English Lit? Social Work? Writing? I just want to learn. Hm ... maybe from now on, or at least until this craving ends, I'll only read non-fiction books. I've already started "The Whale" but I put it down in favor of a fictional tale, perhaps this is the moment to pick it back up again and learn about flukes and maguerites and how whales were put on display in the circus! (I made the last one up, lists look better in threes, don't they?)


Onward to finish reading Freedom by Jonathan Franzen before I can begin my adventure into the sanctum of knowledge that lies between the pages of Phillip Hoare's book!



One last thing - I've been getting these weird almost-fainting spells lately, if you know anything about it, let a girl know! WebMD is SCARY!