dreaming

last night i had this dream in one of my dream places, it's a pretty intricate dream place that i won't get into right now. it grew over time and revealed more to me and as i got older i realized that my dream places are connected. so I was in this one part of it that is really 3 parts and when I was younger it was scary but this dream was interesting because i wasn't younger in it and i wasn't scared, i was my current age and i wasn't trapped i was "just visiting." visiting my uncle, i think that's what it was. and it was an entirely new perspective on the whole place, not scary at all, i saw it like you see shadows when you're older, shadows you thought could swallow you when you were younger (am i the only one who actually believed that? wild imaginations). it was interesting and revealing and no longer scary to see things as they really are. it made me wonder if that's what I'm doing in my life right now. Seeing things as they really are rather than glossing over with a smile and saying it'll be great! you can't force people to want what they don't want even if you yourself are amazing. you can't force people to want something or to change or to be who you want them to be. that's a bad thing to admit, but it's true that i had done that. have done that. for quite some time. it's done now, time to be over with that. jealousy is an ugly animal.

there was something else but i don't remember it right now.