what a difference a couple hours can make.
i feel broken and weird and just kind of lost. i need a paycheck and to stop spending money. i need things to get easier and not harder. i want to not feel like crying and that i should just abandon lease and move back home. and i also want to stop kicking myself for feeling those things. why am i such a little wussy baby?
i miss my person. i miss being able to pick up the phone and talk about bullshit nothing for hours with j and not get bored even though he's not the best and even though there was a lot of hurt between us, i still want that voice on the other end of the phone telling me about something silly and making me forget just for a little bit about wanting to cry. it just digs right in, knowing that my person is so far, when i hear and see s and a together. i'm so glad they are happy, so so so glad, but i too want that person who gets what i'm saying before i even say it. thailand is too far.
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