Are high-waisted skirts in, or are they IN!? Everywhere I look there is a plain white thick-strap tank top tucked into a knee-length high-waisted skirt. Sometimes belted, sometimes left alone. Some have pockets, some have none. But most girls on this Midwest campus are keeping kids in China sewing overtime with their (fashionable?) choices.
What I am most confused about is the level of conformity. Why is it much cooler to be wearing the same exact thing as all of your friends than to be doing something different and more daring. It's just clothing, after all. What really fries my bananas is that at Denison one cannot simply go to class in sweatpants or even jeans and a regular t-shirt without being considered sloppy. God-forbid one hadn't showered before class - "are you sick?" That would be the response. Because only the ill don't shower and wear sweatpants to class.
The only time sweatpants are allowed is if you have just come from the gym. And no, it is unacceptable to be sweaty, flushed, or showing any signs of said trip to the gym. One must have impeccably matching sweatpants and tee-shirt (preferably sports tank) in order to be considered worthy of normal conversation.
Lastly, there is such an enormous pressure here to look a certain way, act a certain way and to produce academics above and beyond the majority of American campuses. The stressors that my peers place on me alone are enough to make me burst. I feel so overwhelmed with pressure to be a certain way while excelling academically. I would bet that at least 75% of women on this campus feel pressure to weigh less, and/or have eating disorders. In Burlington, I felt so free to be who I am, no pressure to act, look, be a certain way. There was acceptance of difference and celebration of differences. Here, difference feels scorned and frowned upon. It's hard to escape and hard to stick to your guns in such a high-anxiety situation. I don't want to lose the person I have become and I can already feel her slipping away a little. It's not "cool" to eat healthy. Here, "healthy" is a RedBull and a poptart. I don't want to eat chemicals. I don't want my vegetables to be frozen or my fruit come from flavored filling. I loved cooking and making good-for you meals in VT. I miss the great city that was a block away, that I was in the middle of. People drink too much here because there's not much more to do and because we're trapped on campus.
I know I'm full of bad things to say about Denison. There are good things. Beautiful campus, alumni support, great friends, big and pretty library with comfy chairs. But I miss the acceptance. I miss the celebration of different people. I miss dance parties in the kitchen every morning.
I've just been down recently (since moving in) it will get better. I hope.
1 comment:
I know exactly what you mean. It's hard readjusting here. Anyone can be someone else -- there are very few people who can be themselves. I felt like I found myself in NY and now that I am back, I can already feel changing a little. I can't wear my sweats with that torn tshirt and walk around without feeling awkward. I guess in a little while we will probably conform too and it wouldn't feel too weird anymore. Like when you enter a room that has a certain smell, you can sense it -- but after a while you become so used to it you can't feel it anymore.
p.s: drop by some time - i am in sunny D!
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